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runaway
New member



Joined: Jul 02, 2010
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 1:17 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I have been driving cars for more than 8 months now and I was proud of my driving.
I lived in a small town in Utah but never had to face any city driving. Recently I moved to Jersey and bought a new car.
2nd day of the new car, I had a minor accident, when I stopped properly on a narrow street, a car hit my car from behind and gave it a bad scratch. I had hazard lights on and was driving at no more than 2mph before stopping. Maybe I could have done better by signaling using my hand to the driver behind.

Ever since the incident, I have lost confidence in driving. I am constantly scared of somebody hitting me from back and my hands are shaking even while I am driving on open roads.
I need to be able to drive because my girlfriend is pregnant and needs frequent doctor visits.

How can I overcome the fear. It seems, the more I drive the more I become less confident in me. I am now scared to stop my car in public areas, scared to change lanes on city streets, scared of intersections.

I desperately need help. I have tried talking to my friends and family but havent been able to overcome the trauma and as days pass its getting more and more embarrassing to discuss this situation.

I never speed my vehicle and I am now extremely cautious while driving (I think this also annoys other drivers on the road).

I constantly feel that one of these days I am going to be pulled over for changing the lane or driving too slowly.

Also, my unfamiliarity with the area I live in also increases complications.

Please help!
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myownworld
Site Admin
Site Admin



Joined: Jan 06, 2010
Posts: 485

PostPosted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 3:28 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome here and thank you for sharing this with us runaway Smile

Actually, I can so relate to your situation - not as unusual as you might think - and I'm sure almost every driver goes through this in the initial stages of driving. I know I did. And seriously, 8 months is not as long a time to master driving as you'd think. Nor one's confidence at it.

I remember, 6 months after I got my license, I crashed my brand new car - not just bumped it, but totally crashed it! I was devastated! I never wanted to sit behind a wheel again, and every time I drove out, I thought all the cars were coming right 'at' me! It was awful. But one has to persist on, through that fear and get past it by driving more often. It's the only way you can deal with it. And practice really is the key here, though initially it will get worse, before it gets better!

Besides, if you give up now, this fear will only get more ingrained in you. So, just hang in there and keep driving. Best of luck and let us know more about how you feel... Smile
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maxwelll
New member



Joined: Aug 01, 2010
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 2:36 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Hello,
This kinda things happens to many peoples. but i think slowly slowly they will forget all this and gain there confidence back so you will also get your confidence back.

good luck!!

*link snipped*
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SafeTraveler
Member
Member



Joined: Aug 17, 2010
Posts: 29

PostPosted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 1:44 pm Reply with quote Back to top

runaway wrote:
Ever since the incident, I have lost confidence in driving. I am constantly scared of somebody hitting me from back and my hands are shaking even while I am driving on open roads.
I don't understand. How has this caused you to lose confidence? You did nothing wrong. It was the other operator's fault in the eyes of the law (for lawsuits) and in the eyes of insurance companies (for insurance claims).

Quote:
How can I overcome the fear. It seems, the more I drive the more I become less confident in me. I am now scared to stop my car in public areas, scared to change lanes on city streets, scared of intersections.
You can overcome your fear by realizing that you are doing the right thing by being careful.

Quote:
I desperately need help. I have tried talking to my friends and family but havent been able to overcome the trauma and as days pass its getting more and more embarrassing to discuss this situation.
You can't solve the problem because it isn't really a problem. Unless you are talking about some sort of car-operation-phobia, in which case perhaps you should find a way to only use mass transit (buses, trains, etc.) Or perhaps talking to a therapist might help. I don't have much faith in mental therapy, but maybe they've got a trick up their sleeves to get you past this.

Quote:
I never speed my vehicle and I am now extremely cautious while driving (I think this also annoys other drivers on the road).
Congratulations, you are doing the right thing. And don't worry so much about the annoyed ones. They will be annoyed their entire lives with or without you, until they realize that they are wrong to be impatient with their fellow brothers and sisters. Just keep doing the right thing and ignore them. (You might enjoy driving a larger vehicle which prevents them from harassing you with their headlights, or darkening your rear window to block them out. Let them enjoy the fine view of your rear end all they want. Smile)

Quote:
I constantly feel that one of these days I am going to be pulled over for changing the lane or driving too slowly.
While this is remotely possible, I don't think that will happen. Many elderly people drive slowly and aren't ever pulled over for it. The cops are watching for the speeding operators that are accidents waiting to happen. The slower you go (within reason of course), the safer you are. You are only a danger to operators who aren't paying attention or are going so fast that they cannot react in time, neither of which is your fault. In either case, you would be in the right in both the eyes of the law and the insurance companies.

Quote:
Also, my unfamiliarity with the area I live in also increases complications.
Agreed. I am terrible with memorizing roads and turns. I recommend getting a cheap GPS unit which should help you travel with more confidence and safety. (Less missing turns and looking for signs, etc.) If you can't afford one and if you have an iPhone, I hear you can use Google Maps as a makeshift GPS device. It's just a bit smaller than the typical GPS screen.
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cruisin
New member



Joined: Feb 15, 2012
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:42 am Reply with quote Back to top

Its all about just keeping with it. Keep driving and eventually you will become comfortable enough to drive all the time without worry. Every gets overcautious after an accident, no matter who caused it. The longer you drive the more confident you will get!
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myownworld
Site Admin
Site Admin



Joined: Jan 06, 2010
Posts: 485

PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 12:22 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome to Fun And Safe Driving Cruisin. Thank you for joining the forums Smile
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ellaboswell
Member
Member



Joined: Apr 29, 2011
Posts: 44
Location: USA

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 3:49 am Reply with quote Back to top

Good on you for taking a couple of extra lessons to sort out your confidence, and acknowledging the problem and taking advice. Hope it works out for you.
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anncharles
Member
Member



Joined: Apr 26, 2012
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 3:55 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Yes best of luck to you and great you took the extra lessons Smile
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newbielearner
Active member
Active member



Joined: Mar 27, 2012
Posts: 65

PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 10:09 am Reply with quote Back to top

runaway wrote:
I have been driving cars for more than 8 months now and I was proud of my driving.
I lived in a small town in Utah but never had to face any city driving. Recently I moved to Jersey and bought a new car.
2nd day of the new car, I had a minor accident, when I stopped properly on a narrow street, a car hit my car from behind and gave it a bad scratch. I had hazard lights on and was driving at no more than 2mph before stopping. Maybe I could have done better by signaling using my hand to the driver behind.

Ever since the incident, I have lost confidence in driving. I am constantly scared of somebody hitting me from back and my hands are shaking even while I am driving on open roads.
I need to be able to drive because my girlfriend is pregnant and needs frequent doctor visits.

How can I overcome the fear. It seems, the more I drive the more I become less confident in me. I am now scared to stop my car in public areas, scared to change lanes on city streets, scared of intersections.

I desperately need help. I have tried talking to my friends and family but havent been able to overcome the trauma and as days pass its getting more and more embarrassing to discuss this situation.

I never speed my vehicle and I am now extremely cautious while driving (I think this also annoys other drivers on the road).

I constantly feel that one of these days I am going to be pulled over for changing the lane or driving too slowly.

Also, my unfamiliarity with the area I live in also increases complications.

Please help!


Practice, practice and not to give up! I've been there - still am actually, but every day it's getting better. If driving was that difficult, so many people out there wouldn't be doing it. Just stick with it man. Best of luck!
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